Meryl Streep vs. Duct Tapes

The Case For Duct Tape

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. As anyone can attest who's ever used a butter knife as a screwdriver, a piece of thread as dental floss, or a shoe as a fly swatter, they are right. In a pinch, just about any tool can serve multiple purposes never imagined by its creator. (We specify "just about," because we're pretty sure those "As Seen On TV" hot dog cookers aren't really good for anything other than cooking hot dogs.)

To wit: consider the innovative uses to which duct tape has been put. You've probably bought a roll in your time on this earth. You may even have some in your home right now. Perhaps you recall the last time you busted it out. And unless you are a ventilation engineer, we're guessing that you didn't use that duct tape to tape a duct. Duct tape may actually be the one product -- save, perhaps, the notably small and dainty "neck massagers" in the Sears catalogue -- that is used for its official purpose less often than it is for...every other damn thing people use it for.

Sharing time? Okay. We've used duct tape to repair the back of a framed piece of art. We've patched torn luggage with it. We sealed a parcel with it once. And although we weren't clever enough to do it ourselves, we know of someone in our extended circle of acquaintances who used duct tape, instead of a screw, to put a broken cupboard door back on its hinges. Well, back...ish.And those are fairly pedestrian uses. Consider this. And these. Put in a context like that, the idea of using duct tape to do something as common and dull as taping a duct seems like a waste of such a versatile item. Speaking of versatility...

The Case For Meryl Streep

...remember that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa keeps picking football teams for Homer to bet on, and he wins so much money that he gets gifts for everyone? And his gift for Marge is a (fictional) signature perfume named after Meryl Streep? What else could the stuff be called but "Meryl Streep's Versatility"?

There is no role Meryl Streep can't play. Accents are a breeze. The lovely Modiglianian lines of her face could belong to any period, nearly any ethnicity. She can rock any costume, any wig, even the brutal glasses they stuck her with for Prime. A few years back, she broke the record for most Oscar nominations for an actress. (Take that, Katharine Hepburn, you brittle old hag!) In her forties, she played a middle-schooler and totally pulled it off. So it was only a vocal performance -- on The Simpsons, of course. So what? Let's see you pull that off!

The Decision

No, your eyes do not deceive you: Fametracker has really, truly taken the bold and fearless position that Meryl Streep is a talented actor. We know we're going to get some pretty heated email for this one, but we can take it. What are we here for, if not to express minority opinions?
Uh, not. Everyone pretty much agrees that Streep's rad. But there are lots of actors who are good at what they do, but only do one thing; Meryl Streep, it seems, can do just about anything. If you hire her for a comic part that ends up more dramatic, she can adapt. If she needs to be haughty and elegant and also turn her head all the way around, like an owl, she rolls with it. If it seems unlikely that a movie -- such as this week's offering, The Devil Wears Prada -- would make us root for the serviceable but average Anne Hathaway and against the totally bad-ass Meryl Streep, she's going to make that happen. If your movie, metaphorically speaking, requires several patch jobs but you only have room in your toolkit for one implement, it should be Meryl Streep.

But perhaps we're not speaking metaphorically. Perhaps you've just moved into a new apartment, in which the sink pipes leak, the blind has a huge gash in it, there's a hole in the window screen, and the linoleum's peeling up in the corners of the kitchen floor. You have an unresponsive landlord, a negative balance in your bank account thanks to the enormous cost of first-and-last you just had to pay, and have scrounged just enough change from your couch cushions to make one purchase at the hardware store. Obviously, you buy a roll of duct tape. And, quite possibly, it's the last trip to the hardware store that you ever make.Ultimately, what we're looking at, here, is the question of versatility. Do we value it more in a performer, or in an inanimate handyman?

The Winner

It's Sophie's Choice all over again! Draw.


Courtesy of Fametracker....